Philip Funnies XVII

One day Philip told us he wanted his baby-sitter to come over soon. He gave the caveat that he didn't want us to actually leave the house.
Andy: It's good for Mom and Dad to go out alone because then we can love you more. It works for everyone.
Philip: It doesn't work for me.

Philip: I can't go to school today because I'm too busy.
Me: What are you doing that is keeping you so busy?
Philip: I have to color a lot.

"And may the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of dinosaurs, rest in peace."

"Mom, tomorrow night could you not make vegetables for dinner? I just want fruit snacks and a smoothie."

"Monsters are not impossible."

While coloring Easter Eggs
"Daddy, we're making spoiled eggs!"

After seeing a concrete mixer passing by and noting that the drum slants down:
"Why is the concrete mixer all uploaded?"

Andy: To me - Did you know that BB King died? To the kids - He was the king of the blues.
Philip: He was the king? Do you mean Jesus?

"Can we keep the constructions?" (instructions)

Philip: Can I watch TV when we get home?
Me: No.
Philip: Uh! But you don't even know what TV is!

When we arrived to church early one day (obviously a rare occasion):
"Why is the church not talking yet?"

The first day he got to wear shorts:
Me: You can wear a short-sleeved shirt and shorts today.
Philip: So I should wear a short-sleeved shirt and short-sleeved pants?