Philip Funnies XIV

Looking at the neighborhood pond:
"Why is there no whales in there?"

After chatting briefly with a cousin.
Me: That was your cousin X. He is about 7 years older than you.
Philip: I'm not that big yet. Seven is like so old.

"Raccoons aren't alive during the daytime."

Me: Philip, go put your shoes on.
Philip: Okay, Holy Mother.
Is this funny or sacrilegious? Since he is under the age of reason, I'm going with funny - obviously since I'm posting it here!

Before a rain storm I ask about the rumbling I hear outside.
Me: Is that thunder?
Philip: I'll go check
Opens the storm door.
Philip (totally casually): Maybe it's a war coming...or a T-Rex.

While playing at the park. "Hey, let's all run around and catch ourselves!" Translation: catch each other.

His version of Let it Go. "Let it go. Let it go. Let it go forever if you want to."

"Look Dad! We found Mo-Mo's!" (minnows)

Me: Look at those construction workers! They are digging deep!
Philip: Maybe they are digging for worms...Maybe they want worms to put in their house.

While driving to visit some friends:
"Do the G's not live in space?"
"Do the G's have potties there?"

Philip: Mommy, you have to go to time-out.
Andy: I don't think you have the authority to do that!
Philip: Yes, I do have the 'thority!
Andy: How is that?
Philip: Good.

Philip: Mom?
Me: Yes?
Philip: I can't get too taller because this house isn't too big.

Philip: Why aren't Grandma and Grandpa going to bed?
Me: They are older than you and don't need as much sleep.
Philip: I'm gonna get bigger and bigger and then I won't sleep at all!

A recent conversation between the kids.
Julia: You're awesome, buddy!
Philip: No, I not awesome!
Julia: You're awesome, buddy!
Philip: No! Only Daddy is awesome!
Julia: You're awesome, buddy!
Philip: If you say that again, you have to go to time out.

"Mom, when is baby going to be a boy?"

Discussing the Gatorade the kids had picked out as a special drink for our road trip. The drink was clear, but a cherry flavor. "So it's not pelican flavor?"

Philip Funnies XII

While out to a restaurant with a friend and her kids, this conversation unfolded repeatedly:
Julia: Potty
Philip: Baby wants to see Jesus.

"Let's have coffee with pretzels in it."

"I'm drawing a park and it is going to be a barefoot park."

While throwing a fit because it was time to get out of the bathtub, this was his complaint:
"No! I told you I don't want to TS, I want to TE."
(He randomly puts letters or numbers together in conversations and acts like what he is saying makes sense. "I want the 4-5!")

While driving home from downtown DC, "I can't see out of town!"

Trying to reach a high bar, "After I have a lot of birthdays, I will be able to reach it." Likewise, looking at the lights in our kitchen, "Mommy, when you get older, you will be able to reach them."

"My Herb (cat) is Herbie."

Julia was holding up a magnifying glass.
Me: That makes your eyes look real big.
Philip: And my eyes are real tall...just like Mommy and Daddy's.

After eating a bite of cotton candy, "My tongue is all sparkly!"

"I want to go to Donald Duck's." Translation: McDonald's

I can't remember exactly what he said, but yesterday instead of saying tomorrow he was saying "to the morrow."

I have a tissue box holder that has a bee on the front. While cleaning it one day.
Julia: Jesus
Me: That's not Jesus, that's a bee.
Julia: Jesus
Me: Silly, that's not Jesus.
Julia: Jesus
Me: That's not Jesus, that's a bee, see? holding it close for her to see
Philip walking towards the window: Let me see if it is Jesus.
Looks out the window.
Oh Baby, that's not Jesus, that's just a bee.

 

 

Philip Funnies XI

 

After watching a movie with a scary bear scene:
"Bears don't know how to be happy."

His confidence in our home maintenance skills:
A light burned out in our chandelier. "Oh no! Now we will have to call the worker guy to fix it."

While leaning over him to put his seat belt on, my wet hair fell in his face. "I think you have spiders in your hair."

He and Julia ran into each other by accident. Holding his nose. "Oh no! My honking horn!"

After seeing me hold on to the handlebar in the car, he tries to reach his. "Oh! I can't reach! When my hand gets older I will be able to reach it"

Andy: Is Baby like a bird?
Philip: No, Baby has feet.

At dinnertime we were recapping our day for Andy. We had been to the library for a dinosaur story time.
Me: They read it book called DinoTrain.
Philip: I love trains...and pickles!

"You guys don't like to eat butterflies."